Tag: inspiration

Life GOOOOALS!

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All of this World Cup hoopla has me reliving my glory days as a high school soccer coach.

Yep, I know what’s going through your head right now. Some of you are confused, thinking that’s a typo, that I really meant to write about my time as a high school tennis coach. After all, that’s the sport I actually played in high school and know something about.

But no, I really did have a short stint as a JV soccer coach . . . and it was as comical as you might imagine.

If you’re questioning who in their right mind would hire a soccer coach who didn’t know the difference between a free kick and a penalty kick, I don’t blame you. That’s a fair question. Desperate times call for desperate measures, I suppose.

It’s not an exaggeration to say that when I started coaching at Mid-Carolina, I knew less about soccer than Ted Lasso did when he took the reins at Richmond. But, like Ted, what I lacked in soccer knowledge and ability, I more than made up for in my propensity for baking delicious treats for the team.

Honestly, though, no one had any delusions of grandeur when I agreed to coach. The varsity coach, the AD, and I all knew going in I was basically hired to be a warm body in order for us to start a JV team. I wasn’t offended in the least, as I was looking forward to getting to know a different group of students. The $100 coaching stipend was just icing on the cake.

When it came time for me to take the field, however, I was pretty anxious, and I worried that my lack of experience would frustrate my players and their parents. Sure, I could blow a whistle and make a bunch of middle schoolers run laps, but I couldn’t teach them many soccer skills. #dontuseyourhands

Soon, I realized there was an advantage to my inexperience: Because I knew I wasn’t qualified for the job, and I knew I didn’t have any idea what I was doing, I didn’t put a lot of pressure on myself to have some super impressive record. We celebrated the little victories, and that mindset opened the door for me to learn, to grow, and to laugh at my own mistakes . . . like telling my goal keeper to make a move that resulted in his getting a yellow card—whoopsie daisy!

Bottom line: I may not have been the most able to coach soccer, but I was ready, and I was willing, and that’s all my AD needed.

God works in the same way. When He calls us to a job, He just wants us to try. He doesn’t expect us to know it all before we start. In fact, I read somewhere recently that God doesn’t call the qualified, He qualifies the called.

There are so many leaders in the Bible who started out with a great deal of hesitation. Moses was worried he couldn’t speak, Gideon and Saul both felt insignificant because of their families, and Esther feared King Xerxes would never listen to her, a female and a Jew. And yet, despite their feelings of inadequacy, God used each one of these people to do great things.

As Mordecai encourages Esther to go to the king, he asks her, “And who knows but that you have come to your royal position for a time such as this?” (Esther 4:14). In the moment, we don’t always know why we’re in the position we’re in, and we may doubt our ability to be effective. Luckily, God doesn’t need our perfection, He needs our obedience, and if we lean into Him, He can use us to fulfill his purpose.

As for my legacy at M-C, did I leave the most impressive record behind when I gave up coaching to work on my Master’s . . . absolutely not. But did I help start a JV program that made the varsity program stronger and gave girls the chance to play soccer, eventually leading to the development of their own team . . . why yes, yes I did.

Over my four years of coaching, I learned a lot, and not just how to recognize offside. I learned about teamwork, I learned about motivation, and I learned that I can, in fact, fit in a locker room dryer.

But above all, I learned that we don’t have to be the best to give our best. Sometimes our willingness to try is the key to victory. It’s amazing what God can do if we let Him work within us. All we have to do is BELIEVE.

Dodge, Duck, Dip, Dive, & Deuteronomy

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What.A.Week.

With a half day, Election Day, and an eLearning day at school, plus baseball games, speech therapy, and Alex being out of town, life has been a wee bit crazy over the past five days.

To be honest, my whole fall has been a tad overwhelming. There have been times I have felt like I’m in a game of dodgeball, where I’m the only one left on my side, and all of these balls keep flying at me, and there’s nothing I can do to fight them off or make them stop pummeling me. Some days, I’d really rather just curl into a ball with my arms over my head and wait until things settle down, but I know deep down that’s not the way to win at dodgeball or at life.

Patches O’Houlihan, the greatest dodgeball coach of all time, would tell me the way to win in dodgeball is to utilize the five D’s: dodge, duck, dip, dive, and dodge. And those moves may help a team of average Joe’s win the Las Vegas Dodgeball Championship, but they don’t really enable me to conquer the challenges, responsibilities, and occasional wrenches coming at me every day.

What Patches’ advice forgets is that one of the best strategies to win at dodgeball is to actually stand still, catch a ball, hold onto it, and use it to fend off the other balls. And the ball we specifically need to grab onto is the one with God’s name on it.

See, we can duck and dive, dip and dodge, cower and cover our heads, but that doesn’t stop the hailstorm of life that’s raining down on us. When we stand up and cling tightly to Jesus, though, that’s when we can start taking care of business.

Throughout the Psalms, God is compared to a shield, which I’m sure was helpful to the Israelites who were used to going into battle, but it doesn’t do too much for me. I don’t know a lot about BC-era weaponry, but dodgeballs? As a mom, a teacher with recess duty, and a camp counselor, that’s an analogy I can really get behind. (See what I did there.) To me, God is a dodgeball, going before me, protecting me, and giving me something to hold on to.

I’m fairly certain a dodgeball was exactly what Moses was thinking of when he wrote Deuteronomy 1:30: The Lord your God, who is going before you, will fight for you, as he did for you in Egypt, before your very eyes. Moses was reminding his people that they weren’t alone. They had seen God bring them through hard times, and Moses wanted them to remember God was still walking before them.

The same is true for us today. Life may throw tough stuff at us, but we never have to handle it by ourselves. God is always on our side, our first line of defense, shielding us, and helping us manage everything that comes our way.

So, when you’re feeling overwhelmed, grab on to God. Hold him out in front of you and let him protect you. He can, he has, and he will.

The Bigger, the Better

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As a parent, I’ve discovered there are a few things I can never have too much of. I can never have too much athletic wear or too many wet wipes. I can never have too much patience or too many Goldfish. And, above all, I can never have too much wisdom.

This has been especially evident the past few months as we have tried to help Brooks get used to “big boy school.” It hasn’t been easy, and we have relied heavily on the wisdom of friends and experts. Thanks to a Sunday school lesson a few weeks ago that focused on James 1:5, we have also started to rely on God’s wisdom.

Last week, Alex and I prayed for wisdom of what to do next, for guidance and clarity. I went on to pray for all of the adults in Brooks’ life to have wisdom for the best ways to help him as well.

Alex chuckled at the second half of my prayer, telling me he didn’t think I could pray for other people to have wisdom, to which I very maturely replied, “Yes, I can. I can pray for whatever I want.”

They say my stubbonrness is genetic.

But seriously, in Psalm 109, David, a man after God’s own heart, asks for his enemy’s days to be few. Then he asks for his enemy’s children to be fatherless, so I think asking for adults I respect to be blessed with wisdom is actually pretty kind and compassionate, comparatively speaking.

Later that morning as I was driving to school, I thanked God for being a God who listens and for being a God who lets me ask for a wide variety of things . . . and that’s when it hit me.

Isn’t that what we all want? To be asked?

Think about it . . .

Do we actually want to chair the fall festival at school? No, probably not, but it sure feels good to be asked.

Do we honestly want to go on a blind date with our best friend’s quirky cousin from out of town? Chances are not really, but it sure feels good to be asked.

Do we seriously want to single-handedly organize a field trip, complete with spreadsheets and permission slips? Nope, not even a little bit, but (say it with me) it sure feels good to be asked.

So, if we don’t have any interest in completing the task, why does it still feel good to be asked? It’s simple: Being asked shows us someone believes in our ability, thinks we’re capable, and needs our help. Ultimately, it means someone trusts us, and that feels good.

God wants the same thing from us too, a relationship where we feel comfortable enough to share our deepest desires, our hopes, and our dreams. A relationship where we trust his ability and rely on his help. He wants us to ask him anything because it brings us closer to him.

Now look, I’m not saying we’re going to get everything we ask for. God isn’t Zoltar, ready to grant Big wishes. But he is willing to listen to everything we ask for.

John 9:31 tells us that “if anyone is a worshipper of God and does his will, God listens to him” (ESV). Paul expands on this idea in Ephesians 3:12 when he writes, “in him [Jesus] we may approach God with freedom and confidence.”

In other words, we don’t have to worry about what we ask God for because he’s not going to judge us or laugh at us or get angry with us. He’s going to listen to us like the good father he is. And, I would imagine, he will be excited we finally had enough faith in his ability to ask him to do something for us he’s wanted to do all along.

So, as you talk to God this week, go ahead and be bold in your asking. Go big! Be honest with God, and be honest with yourself. You have nothing to lose and so much to gain.

Call Me . . . Maybe?

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“Get in the car, guys! We’re running late! Hurry! Hurry!”

That’s how July 30, 2021, started for us as Reeves, Brooks, and I scrambled to get in the car. We were heading to Asbury Hills to pick Jackson up from camp, and we were way behind schedule. I had loaded the boys into my trusty Pilot and was climbing into the front seat when my phone rang.

Now, as a general rule, I detest talking on the phone and avoid it whenever possible. My friends know this about me, and on more than one occasion, I’ve answered the phone to the words, “I know you don’t like talking on the phone, but this will just take a sec.” Answering the phone when I was already stressed from running late was totally out of character for me.

When I glanced down at the caller ID, I saw it was my friend Margaret, who likes to play fast and loose with my “Don’t call me, I’ll call you” rule anyway. I don’t know what possessed me, but I answered the phone, even though I was cranking my car and trying to hit the road. And, man, was I glad I did. Turned out, I was only trying to crank my car. My trusty Pilot was dead as a doornail. How were we going to get to Jackson?

In a panic, I relayed this untimely development to Margaret, and Margaret being Margaret, she immediately offered to let me borrow her car, a sweet Honda Odyssey van complete with a DVD player and push-button start–fancy! With self-closing doors, Jungle 2 Jungle on the big screen, and captain’s chairs, the boys were in heaven. Best.RoadTrip.Ever. To think, we would have missed out on all of the fun, not to mention picking up Jackson, if I hadn’t answered the phone.

Sometimes I wonder if I’m doing the same thing with God. Am I ignoring his calls?

The short answer is yes. I have put him on hold and sent him to voicemail more than I’d like to admit. But that’s the great thing about God. He is, quite possibly, the most obnoxious and annoying telemarketer ever. He keeps on calling. Even when I try to ignore him because I’m too busy or too scared to talk, he doesn’t give up. He keeps calling. As Paul writes in I Thessalonians 5:24, “The one who calls you is faithful, and he will do it.” And aren’t we thankful that he is and he does? Imagine the blessings we wouldn’t experience if he never hit redial. The best part is we can have faith that if he calls, he will equip us with what we need to answer.

What is God calling you to do? Is it to take that first step or mend that relationship? Is it to reach out to an old friend or try something new? Is it to extend an invitation or put an idea into action? Whatever it is, let’s make a pact to answer when God calls us. It may be scary at first, and it may require us to step out of our comfort zones, but we may be pleasantly surprised by all the good things that follow when we pick up the phone, so to speak.

So, what are you waiting for? Your phone is ringing. Answer the call.

O-R-E-O

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Peace and quiet is hard to come by in a house full of rough and tumble boys, so I take the “me time” I do get very seriously.

A few Sundays ago, I was sitting at the kitchen table, sipping my coffee and enjoying three blissful minutes of quiet when Jackson came bounding in, asking what he could have for breakfast. Frustrated that my moment of silence had been interrupted, I offhandedly said, “Whatever you can find.”

Famous. Last. Words.

Jackson looked at me with a twinkle in his eyes, promptly grabbed a bag of leftover soccer snack Oreos off the table, and dissolved into a fit of delighted giggles.

“Jackson! No! You can’t have Oreos for breakfast!”

He looked me dead in the eyes and said, “You said ‘whatever you can find.’ You have to be careful with your words, Mom.”

Then he scurried back to the den, no doubt to gloat over his breakfast of champions, never realizing how true his words were.

Because Jackson’s exactly right: we do have to be careful with our words, as they have the power to hurt and to heal. Thankfully, we have the opportunity to use our words for good every single day. Proverbs 16:24 tells us “Gracious words are a honeycomb, sweet to the soul and healing to the bones.”

The good news is it takes absolutely no money and not much time to be nice. It could be the friendly greeting offered to the Target cashier, an encouraging text to a friend, a verbal high five for a job well done, or a compliment on a social media post. We never know when our words will be the sweet spot in someone’s day.

One of my oldest friends avoided Oreos in high school because, as she said, “A moment on the lips, a lifetime on the hips.” I think the same can be said about the power of gracious words–It only takes a moment to offer them, but their impact can last a lifetime.

***Quick Note: This post is part of a two-part series, so be sure to follow me on Instagram @laughsatfunerals so you don’t miss Part 2: Eating My Words.

My So-Called Running Life

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I was on the treadmill at the gym the other day when I noticed something: Running is easier for everyone else than it is for me. I’m serious, as I looked around, every single person on a treadmill looked like he or she was just bouncing along on a cloud, effortlessly as can be.

I, on the other other hand, looked like this:

Only I probably didn’t look that happy!

Running, for me, is a necessary evil: I don’t always love it, but I know it has major benefits. I’ve run a variety of races, from 5K’s to half-marathons, and while I don’t always enjoy the actual running, I do always have a sense of accomplishment when I’m finished. That, and I’m a sucker for a free t-shirt.

When my friend Emily and I lived in Shandon, we would run the Shandon Turkey Trot together every November. Of course, I’m using the word “together” rather loosely because Emily always crossed the finish line a good six or seven minutes before I did. This actually worked to my advantage since it meant I always had somebody cheering for me at the finish line. One year, Emily’s time was so fast, she won a turkey for finishing first in our age group. I, on the other hand, cracked a bone in my foot stepping off the sidewalk before the race even started and won myself three months in a boot. Now that’s talent!

After another Trot, my mom, who had looked at the results online, called to ask if I knew an 80-year-old man finished before I did. As a matter of fact, Mom, I did know that, seeing as how I watched him pass me about 100 yards from the finish line, but thank you so much for pointing it out again.

For me, running races isn’t about winning (obviously), it’s really more about motivation and goals. When I know I have a race coming up, I’m more likely to exercise consistently. Running a race is a concrete goal that has a clear beginning and end, and that goal has come in handy on more than one occasion. When I interviewed at BC, one of the questions my principal asked was to describe a recent goal I had accomplished. Normally, that question would have thrown me for a loop, but that year, I had run the Columbia Half-Marathon, so the question was easy to answer. Mr. Morton didn’t need to know I closed the course!

To be honest, I should probably say I have “participated” in a variety of races because, truth be told, I have never run a single race start to finish. I do more of a combination of walking and jogging, but this year is going to be the year I change that.

In January, I chose “determined” as my word of the year, and I am determined to run a 5k without stopping. I’ve been listening to Emily P. Freeman’s podcast The Next Right Thing recently, and in Episode 69, she says if you want to get serious about something, the first thing you need to do is tell someone. So, there you go, I’ve said it out loud . . . let the training begin!

I have chosen Get in the Pink, a local race that raises money for breast cancer, as my goal. The race is here in Columbia on May 11, and if you’re interested in running with me, let me know. The more, the merrier! You can find race information here.

I’m planning on using the C25K app on my phone to guide my training. It’s an 8-week program, which is perfect since there are nine weeks until the race. That way, if I get off track, I have an extra week of cushion. If you are an experienced runner, I’d love to hear your racing tips. If you’ve never run a race before, this could be the perfect opportunity to give it a shot. There’s nothing to be afraid of . . . I guarantee I won’t let you be the last one to cross the finish line.

New Year, New Word

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I’m a quitter. I’m not ashamed. In fact, I’m proud to say I just celebrated my third year of throwing in the towel, and I have to admit, I’ve never been happier.

In 2017, I quit making New Year’s resolutions. Instead, like many of you, I choose a word to focus on throughout the year. The first two years, the words came easily, purpose and trust, but this year was more of a struggle . . . so much so that I told some friends maybe my word should actually be struggle!

Here’s the list of words I considered:

Strong

Pause

Change

Joy

Present

Patient

Hands

Resolve

Intentional

Assertive

Initiative

Persevere

All of them were good words, but there wasn’t one that really made me think, “Yes! That’s it. That’s my word.” If I’m going to commit to something for a year, I want to be excited about it.

On the Saturday before New Year’s, I was driving back to Columbia from Rock Hill, enjoying some peace and quiet since Jackson was asleep in the backseat, and thinking about my word dilemma. With January 1 fast approaching, I felt like I was running out of time to find the right word. I started flipping through radio stations listening for inspiration when I landed on Another One Bites the Dust. As I was rocking along, I heard the word determined and thought maybe that was the word I should choose. It seemed to be the common thread running through several of the words already on my list.

Determination is defined as the quality of being resolute or the firmness of purpose. As I thought about some of the things I want to accomplish this year, I knew determination would have to be the driving force pushing me to make changes and meet goals. Whether it’s being more present and patient at home, getting back in shape, or keeping the car clean, I have to be determined in my efforts.

As I got ready to write this post, I Googled the lyrics to see just exactly how the word was used in the song, and low and behold, y’all, the word is nowhere to be found in the lyrics! I have absolutely no idea how I heard it or where it came from, but I took it as a sign that determined should definitely be my word for the year.

Once I picked my word, I needed a plan for how to stay focused on it. Last year, I ordered one of the My Intent bracelets so I would have a constant reminder of trust. That worked for a few months, but then I took it off in the laundry room one day, and I guess it got buried under a pile of laundry or fell behind the washing machine because I haven’t seen it since. That, or it grew legs and ran off with all of the socks that disappear from the dryer!

This year, I decided to choose a Bible verse that reflected my word. I picked Galatians 6:9– Let us not grow weary of doing good, for in due season we will reap if we do not give up. It’s a good reminder that we may get tired, but if we are determined to keep on keeping on, we will see results. I made it the background of my phone’s lock screen so that I can read it for encouragement whenever my determination begins to waver.

I also believe in the power of a theme song, so I picked one of those too. Another One Bites the Dust was the obvious choice, but I didn’t really know how a song about a guy mowing down people with a machine gun fit in to my life plan. However, something about Freddie Mercury’s confidence and powerful drumbeat stuck with me. Granted, I don’t want to knock off people who have wronged me, but I do want to knock items off my bucket list and take care of the goals I set.

While I was at the gym, I heard another song I thought would also make a killer theme song: This Is Me from The Greatest Showman soundtrack. If you haven’t seen the movie, you need to. This song’s connection to my word actually makes sense, as the movie depicts P.T. Barnum journey’s to create the greatest show on earth. Barnum is the epitome of determination, as he refuses to let limited funds, lack of customers, and even a fire stop him from making his dream come to life. I dare you to listen to the song and not feel fired up and inspired.

That’s a little bit about my word and how I’m keeping it at the forefront of my mind. I’m hoping if you’re reading this, you’ll hold me accountable to it throughout the year. If you chose a word, I’d love to hear what it is, why you chose it, and how you incorporate it into your daily life.

Happy New Year! Look out, 2019, ’cause here I come!