I hate hugs.

Ok, wait, that’s not entirely true. I’m just not always fond of hugs I don’t initiate. I guess I’m kinda like Vivian in Pretty Woman— “I say who. I say say when.”

One of my friends in college was bound a determined to break me of my hug-free habit. She would intentionally come up and hug me in the Dining Hall and just squeeze the heck out of me for an unusually long period of time. I think it was her version of exposure therapy. The whole time she was hugging me, she would be whispering, “It’s going to be ok. Just accept it and relax.” While I eventually became used to her shenanigans, I never could quite settle into the hug.

It’s funny how life works out because I ended up marrying the world’s best hugger. Even this self-proclaimed hug-avoider can confess Alex has the perfect amount of squeeze. He’s spent the last 10 years training the boys in his art of hugging, and I have ended up squished in the middle of a four-man hugfest on more than one occasion. Their giggles do make the hugs a little more bearable.

I realized what a good hugger Alex is two summers ago when I was isolated in Rock Hill for two weeks taking care of my mom when she had Covid. Those days were full of anxiety, as I worried about why she wasn’t getting better, how the boys were doing in Columbia, and what school would look like in the fall. Exhausted and anxious, that was a time in my life when I truly craved a hug.

Sometimes, though, I wonder if it’s not so much about the hug itself but about the sense of calm that comes with it. Even when I don’t really want a hug, Alex knows when I need one, and I have to admit, they do make me feel better after a rough day. My troubles seem to melt away, if only for a minute. Maybe the science is right, and hugs really do lower stress.

Unfortunately for you, I can’t have Alex walking around giving out a bunch of free hugs (#awkward), but I can recommend another source of comfort and peace. Psalm 91:4 tells us, “He will cover you with His feathers, and under His wings you may seek refuge; His faithfulness is a shield and bulwark.” Like a mother bird, God offers us protection and a safe place to land during life’s storms.

I don’t know what you’re going through right now, but I know God’s got you. We all face challenges in life, some big, some small. Through them all, we can rest in God, knowing he is there to comfort us at the end of a long day. He wants to wrap his arms around us and whisper words of encouragement to each of us. All we have to do is lean in and let him.