We’re all familiar with the saying, “Sticks and stones will break my bones, but words will never hurt me.” But let’s be honest–that’s a lie. Words can be just as hurtful as sticks and stones, and their scars can be even harder to heal.

Last week, I wrote about how Jackson used Oreos to teach me the importance of my words. Turns out, he was right in more ways than one.

Recently, Reeves had a meltdown as Alex was tucking him into bed. He had had a rough night, where nothing seemed to go right for him. He was especially upset because earlier in the evening, he had spilled a drink all over the carpet in the hall. As Alex was telling me about the situation, he said, “Poor guy even said he’s the reason we can’t have nice things.”

Cue record scratch.

I immediately felt horrible because I knew exactly where Reeves had gotten that idea and those words– ME.

As you can imagine, a house with four guys has it’s fair share of rips, spills, and cracks. To maintain my sanity, sometimes all I can do is shake my head and chuckle, “That’s why I can’t have nice things.” I’ve even been tempted to buy a pillow with the saying embroidered on it. Little did I know, Reeves was internalizing those words much more than I ever meant for him to.

It hurt my mama heart knowing I had hurt his, but that knowledge was also a blessing in disguise. It gave me the opportunity to make it right.

Proverbs 12:18 says, “The words of the reckless pierce like swords, but the tongue of the wise brings healing.” We don’t always know when our words have hurt someone, but when we do, we should use our wisdom to apologize. As uncomfortable as the conversation may be, it’s worth it to bring healing to the relationship.

Apologizing to our children is especially important, as it models for them how to treat others. It’s good practice at a skill that doesn’t always come naturally. While it can be intimidating to humble ourselves and admit when we’re wrong, it can also be a character-building learning experience for everyone involved.

I’ve decided I don’t want our family motto to be “This is why we can’t have nice things.” I’d rather it be something more along the lines of “In our house, we apologize.” Or, “In our house, we take ownership for our mistakes.” Or, better yet, “In our house, we know words have the power to heal.” Now that’s something to put on a pillow.